spinning spinning

Today I creep along.
The pit of my stomach is numb.
I must find myself in order to give myself.
I must drink Lilac Wine.
I will find you in my darkest hour.
I will search you out and fall at your feet.
I will turn myself over to you.
You must hold on to me.
You must.

A slew of violations

Okay, post time.

What a summer it has been! Wow.
I will be going into the studio at the end of this month to record my long-anticipated first EP. It will be seven original tracks that I am very very proud of. I can't wait to turn them loose for everyone to absorb. The project will be the combined efforts of Michael Wallace, John Willis, Wes Saunders, myself and a few others. The time has finally arrived.
In a completely different vein of my life, I finished the first draft of my children's book, "Grinucha the Witch and the Awful Shoe Switch." It took me a year to complete, and in my naive position as a novice writer I was almost scammed by a crooked literary agency. I went so far as to sign a silly contract, but was able to dissolve it in the 72 hour window of submission. So nothing lost but a little pride, and an immense amount of knowledge gained. I'll take it.
I am working on the second draft right now. I LOVE the process. It's like putting together a puzzle. I have the picture in my head, and all the pieces are right here in front of me. Now I just have to put the whole thing together. Rosemary is editing these first drafts for me before I submit it to a real live agency. (insert famous quote about success reached by earning it, not by expecting it.)
I have not yet been able to settle my nerves and my mind since the attempted break in a few months back. I think I would handling it better had we not been home. But we were home, and that created a whole mess of terrible thoughts that swirl round my bed at night. Or when I have to force myself to go out to my car after dark. Or when I'm contemplating taking a shower but won't do it unless someone is home. Not because I'm scared, but because if the water is on I can't hear everything that's going in and around the house.
I know it's all very silly, but it's where I am right now. The silver lining to it all is that I rearranged my room (so that I wouldn't sleep between the windows but facing them.) It spurred me to make new curtains out of some old ones that I had in the attic (so if someone happened to be outside my window they couldn't see in between the blinds and the window frame.) Needless to say, I LOVE the new set up. It tells a much more comfortable story, and I like the way it looks at first entering the room.
I'm excited for whatever is around the corner. I know good things are in my cards.

Soon enough this blog will be a link from my website, codybelew.com. It will be the information hub for anyone wanting to track me down. It will have show times/dates, news, photos, video links, etc. So there will no longer be an excuse for things not to happen. The arch will have been open, so y'all just come on in!

New post, and blog revamp coming soon. I PROMISE!!

What a year

I have successfully completed year 23 of my life. So very many things have transpired. I left my cabin home that I still miss more than I expected. I have continued my persuit for fame and started the cultivation of my worldwide fanbase. Babysteps.

I have maintained the lifestyle of which I desired for myself, and with that I have worked my ass off. For the most part I enjoy my day job. I am not very fond of my night job, but I am fortunate to have it. I have my moments with the church choir, but the music literature is so good I can't help but love singing it. As a headliner, my own shows are going as planned. The crowds have been very enthusiastic and that is a refreshing situation. I look forward to the coming months as they with surely bring more and more instances for applause. Like the Blue Whale's sole diet consists of krill, I live off of the afformentioned praise that fills the spaces from song to song.

I lost a dear friend, the last of his kind, and the first friend I have ever had to say goodbye to. There are still quiet moments of grief, but I have so many good things to remember. Call me crazy, but I see him every where in amongst random passing seconds and fleeting thoughts.

I don't know what this 24th year has in store, but I am ready to meet it head on. I don't know why, but this, I feel, is going to be the year. The one that defines the rest of my life. Now, I may be eating those words sooner than I think, but I'm going with what my soul keeps telling me.



Any of us could die at any minute of the day. If my time should come sooner than yours remember that I laughed. All the time. Remember that I loved. As honestly as I could. And for God's sake remember that I sang. All the way to the end.



I mean, I'm not PLANNING on dying you know. but I must think these things up!

the sixth of six

So I'm doing what Marko told me to do... open the sixth picture folder on your computer, upload the sixth picture, and blog about it.

This picture was taken during a very fantastic night. I suprised Mark by telling him I wasn't going to come to a party hosted by some of his friends. He got really mad about it, and I just fed the fire, so that the surprise would be that much sweeter. We had dinner, and I hung out with his friends. Two amazing things happened that night. There was an explosion at the fire pit, and I finally got to meet Daysha. (she is the one on the left.)

I love this photo of Daysha, Alex, and I. It is a sweet reminder of a sweet memory.

And now a message to Marko:

Don't worry about a thing. I will hold you in my arms. Period.

Bar Fly

The grand opening of Off Center was quite a success. 350+ people packed into the place and gave it the welcome it deserved. I was humbled, anxious, and a little sad all at the same time. Buddy's dream had come to life.

Adding the horn players to the mix was probably the best thing I could have done. They bring such an awesome energy to the music.

We opened the show with an 80's classic. Peter Gabriel's "Sledgehammer." I was trying to talk the band into cutting it up until the very last second. ...good thing we didn't. It was the perfect opener.

After that, the show rolled on as it was planned. For the most part. There were a few glitches in the music, but the crowd was awesomely unaware.

The responses, praise, cheers, and accollades have been flooding my facebook and my email.

I never would have imagined such a thing.

Buzz is good.

All my life I've lived for applause, but I've made the shift from that immediate gratification to the sustainable energy created by good buzz. ....So don't ever say I'm not doing my part to save the planet.

Marko continues to bless my life with a kind of love I thought I would never know. Without sounding like a Danielle Steel novela, it's sort of hard to describe. Only those who understand what I'm trying to say really understand what I'm trying to say.

hahaha.

He's a keeper. 'nough said.

Tonight John Willis and I take the stage at Off Center. We'll be serving up a mix of americana, r&b, pop, country, and diva. this first show will kick off what I hope to be a lasting "act" that everyone finds refreshing.

And I'm hoping for a HUGE payoff. lol

Everyone please pray for my vocal chords, they're all but used up this week.

I hope you're having the time of your life.

But think twice.

...That's my only advice.

Soon and Very Soon

T-minus 5 and counting....

This time Saturday I will be anxiously waiting among the nameless faces littering the baggage claim arena.

I'm going to look good.

I'm going to look really good.

I hope you'll have your back to me, so I can sneek up on you and say something coy like, " been here long?"

Or maybe I want you to see me from a long ways off so that I can take my time walking. That way the anticipation can build and build.

This trip was good for so many reasons. You were able to spend a wonderful month with your best friend- this, I think, is most important.

While you were away I was able to miss everything about you. My love for you has mutated into its own living, breathing thing. It wears my life like a dressing gown. And it keeps my soul in a locket, nestled close to it's chest. It eats my thoughts for breakfast, and it inhales my dreams to sustain its existance.

I don't know what I'm going to do with you. Maybe I'll just prop you up on my bedside table and just take you in like the grand canyon. hmm. So many options.

You're job is to come back.

...let me take care of the rest.